A Pleasing Sacrifice to the Lord
- majahulstedt
- May 10
- 4 min read
Journal Entry - February 6, 2025
When it came to eating, 5 months ago I had an aggressive grip on every calorie I would intake - And about one year ago, I remember crying in the kitchen to my dad, wailing, “I just don’t want to be fat! I am afraid of being fat!” This fear was consuming my mind and heart, rotting my view of myself and distorting where I put my trust in. Going on this Gap Year, I never thought God would use it to free me from the bonds of a disordered self-image and disordered eating, but He did. One quiet night in Thailand, I cried out to Jesus because I felt convicted about my pride. I realized that even though I prayed countless times before, “I surrender all to you Jesus, my whole life I give to you…” in the back of my mind I knew that my body and food choices were not surrendered to Jesus. At that moment, I heard a small, gentle voice say, “Give it up, hand over this burden. Surrender the control you think you have over what your body looks like and the food you consume.” So I did. It was painful for my flesh to admit that I had been idolizing my self-image and that my control over food was actually separating me from my precious Savior. Initially, I felt ashamed, but when I confessed, I felt abundant relief and grace coming from Jesus. I began to pray each day that all that I ate and drank would honor the Lord by nourishing the body He gave me. I realized that if God created my body knowing every vitamin needed for it to function and operate, then who am I to think I could restrict and control what I ate? A lie I had been believing since I was a little girl was, “I would be more beautiful and more liked, if I was skinny.” I thought that if I surrendered my control over to God then I would wake up fat, but trusting God was the most freeing thing I could have done. He knows better than me about eating healthy and being healthy… and contrary to what the world believes, healthy doesn’t always look like being stick skinny. Not everyday is easy, I find myself when I am overwhelmed or stressed trying to restrict what I eat again but by God’s grace He always reminds me to surrender and press into His unwavering peace. I am currently reading through the Old Testament and the Israelites practiced sacrificing animals to the Lord in order to pay the prices for their sins. Obviously, Jesus was the last and final sacrifice to God for our sins, so we no longer participate in this Old Testament practice. But at the same time, when the Bible talks about sacrificing, it uses the terminology, “Pleasing aroma to the Lord,” “Pleasing sacrifice to the Lord.” and I realized that the food I eat on a daily basis are like my own “pleasing sacrifices to God.” In the Bible our bodies are referred to as “temples” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). And where are sacrifices made in the Old Testament? Temples. And so with this connection in my mind I can view the food I eat as a pleasing sacrifice to God that points to Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on the cross for my sins. Every time I eat, I can praise the Lord that He sent His son for me. I no longer fear eating, but instead rejoice in my salvation. My heart is bursting with gratitude towards God for freeing me from such a damaged view of food and myself. I can’t express enough how thankful I am for this missional gap year. It has completely transformed my life in a million ways. I understand more deeply what it means to place my identity in the Lord. I have the assurance of who I am. I am the daughter of the highest King. Fully known and fully loved. Praise Jesus.
I am posting this journal entry from a few months ago, because as much as God has redeemed, reached, restored, and freed people all around me in Thailand and Croatia... He also softened, revived, and renewed my own heart. Let this be a testament of God's ability to answer prayers, and to free you from the grip of lies.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17
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Croatia has been nothing short of amazing. I won't lie it has been hard at times, really pushing me outside of my comfort zone, but how else will we ever grow if not for a little discomfort? Ministry here naturally looks very different compared to Thailand. But I am thankful to see how ministry works in two cultures that are almost complete opposites of each other. Upon arriving to Croatia, we immediately got connected to the in-country Cru staff. We quickly became family with Tomi, Karlo, and Maggie, who make up the student outreach team. Oh they are the best, and I love them dearly! The past 3 months we have worked with them to reach the university students of Zagreb, Croatia. A lot of what we have been doing is praying fervently, planning weekly, Gospel-centered events, meeting new students, initiating spiritual conversations with strangers, following up with students who are interested in learning more about Jesus, and hosting dinners/game nights at our apartment to bless the students that we have been meeting... in order to create a safer space to talk more about God. Also, My team and I had the amazing opportunity to encourage, teach, and lead two, separate mission trip teams from the USA, who came to Croatia to spread the name of Jesus! One team was from a church in Georgia and the other was a team of athletes from Berkley California. There is so much more to talk about, but I wanted to share a quick update! More blogs coming soon ;)
Ahhhhh THANK YOU everyone for supporting me, I don't think I will ever stop thanking you!!! Thank you for the continuous prayers and love!! I just know God has been answering all of your prayers left and right! I love you all so much!! May God's favor be over you and your loved ones. I pray you would rejoice in the greatest gift of all - our Savior, Jesus Christ! He loves you deeply.
In Christ Alone, Maja
The truth has set you free!!!! Encouraging to hear from a women with eating disorders in my history. To God be the glory!